Good news at last

So I've been a little down lately....if you haven't noticed from my recent posts. But I've actually been doing a lot better since that last post.

I saw my best friends from high school last night. Ashley and Shelby have always been there for me and together we make make up all species of girl...plus we are all blonde.

Ashley is the spunky, edgy, sporty, tomboy, flirty kind of girl. She is also a texting machine. She always has 2 or so boys who are madly in love with her. She LOVES sports. In high school she was the "trainer/ water girl" for the football, basketball, and baseball team. Obviously she is a babe so she got all of the men. However, I did steal one boy from her once....and she likes to constantly remind me of it...because it was definitely against the "girl code" but she really is over it. Ashley and I have been through so much together...broken legs, my brother max's death, fights, boys, high school, mormonism, our step-parents. So many good memories. I love this girl.


Shelby Is the kindest, most beautiful, funniest, fun, loving, adoring girl you will ever meet. She is also extremely strong willed...like her mother =] She isn't afraid to hurt your feelings and tell you off if you are doing something wrong. Her morality meter is off the charts...she is one of the best people you will ever meet...and you definitely want to be on her good side =] Everyone loves shelby though, she was on homecoming court every year in high school and was in pretty much every extracurricular with me. Shelby is also kind of a genius. She works hard and has the biggest heart ever. She will be a great nurse someday =]

I love these girls and they love me too =] I can't wait to spend the summer with them.


So then today I went downtown Noblesville with my Mom and Heidi and just walked through town. I forgot how beautiful it was. I love history...just as much as my mom, but I like to give her a hard time for being such a nerd...so I complain about it and just flat out make fun of her....just because that's what we do =]

My finds of the day were:
1. A beautiful silk scarf for $12
2. A birthday present for Shelbs
3. A yellow cardigan $20
4. An Ann Taintor pin to go on my backpack =] $2

Pretty successful day...I must admit.

Then I found out the best news ever. I got TWO scholarships for next year.

The first is the President Leadership Council Scholarship which is awarded to those who display great leadership skills and good grades.

It covers my ENTIRE tuition for next year. =]=]=]=]=]=]=]=] best day ever?

The second was the BYU Alumni Association Scholarship which I applied for and I guess they chose me because of my essay, grades, leadership, service, and a bunch of other little things...butt

It gives me $1,105 EACH semester. =]=]=] seriously the best day ever.

because this means that all the money I am making this summer can go to Africa, and then all the money I make during the school year can go to paying my student loans from last year. Maybe I won't even have to work next year...I don't know yet...I'm just basking in my happiness at the moment.

I then went to work and sold another credit card. I'm starting to actually enjoy working. I'm starting to become really good friends with not only my coworkers but also all 3 of my managers. Lane is amazing. She loves the fact that I'm a mormon and just asks me things about the religion all the time. We talk about everything and we give each other advice about a lot of stuff. She is even lending my clothes. Brandon is closer to my age and is so funny. We just tease each other all of the time and harass each other...good fun =] Jason, the newest manager, haha he is just a funny guy. He loves the song Eenie meenie minny moe? by justin bieber. And just dances around the store when it comes on....did I mention he is a 30 year old white man who has no dance moves? good times. He also likes to turn up the volume to an obnoxious level when a song I don't like comes on. Nice guy, right?

But I'm really happy because I'm getting more hours because I am the leading credit card seller.And I got my first paycheck today.

The only thing that could make this day better is if I had a boy to share it with. For the first time in a long time I don't have one to talk or text with. I miss it, but I can live without it for now...I have other things to focus on I guess.

Love, Lauren Lindsey





Ashley Hobbs and myself at thanksgiving =] kiwi and bubs <3





Shelby and I at BYU when she came and visited me for SB. =]

Peace, Love, and....I'm lost.

Who am I?
What is my place in this world?
Can I make a difference?
Which path should I choose?
Am I making the right choices?
Do I believe in all of the right things?

These questions plus a thousand more are always floating in my head.

In my History of Psychology class at BYU, we learned about all of the theories, well not all, but most of the theories men have made to explain life and reason.

And there wasn't a single one that seemed right to me.

I feel lost and confused.
I need to find a purpose.
If I don't...then what's the point?

I've noticed that I've started to shut the world out as I look for all of these answers. Even the friends that I really care about. And I don't know why...because I want to talk to them and know how they are doing but I don't want them to know how I am doing.

I hate not knowing the future. It bothers me. But I can't change that fact so I just need to learn how to deal with it.

Ughh I'm lost.

Love, Lauren Lindsey





One thing I do know is I want to go there and help them. Because helping others makes me extremely happy. Even if it is for a moment.






I miss them. They made me feel better.

The "mini" marathon

5:30 am.

Here I am in my somewhat cozy twin size bed dreaming my crazy crack smoker dreams when all of a sudden Dave's voice fills my head. I grudgingly open my eyes and find my stepfather standing above my bed telling me its time to get up.

6:00 am.

Ready and dressed for the event. Although I am on the Atkins diet I decided I would rather break the diet for one day rather than die from no carbs in my system later. So I drank a full glass of berry smoothie (yummm. it made me miss jamba juice with kenny.)

6:30 am

In the car with Dave, listening to some of "his music" when he realizes he forgot our sensors at home. Drive all the way home to find out that our sensors were with us all along. Blonde moment for Dave (one that I will never let him forget.)

7:00 am

Finally make it downtown indy. The minute I step out of the car I was flooded with memories. The crisp morning air, the sweaty smell, the sound of tennis shoes thumping the ground.

race day.

My legs started to hurt just thinking about all of the races I had been through. At that moment I only wished that I was in high school about to run a 5k at Culver with my girls. But no this was something entirely different...it was the Big One.

The Indy 500 Mini Marathon.

The weather this morning was particularly crisp, in fact I was shivering non stop and my teeth were chattering like crazy.

We "woggled" to the start line area (which was 6 blocks away) and instead of going to our assigned "p" and "o" sections Dave, being the inpatient person he is, had us climb over a fence to get to the "d" section which was probably a couple hundred feet closer to the start line. So here I am this very unfit 18 year old college student surrounded by mostly middle aged men who you can tell have been training for this event for a long time. You can always tell by their legs how well they are going to do.

I could just feel the judgement pouring my way because...
A. I look like a weakling
B. They just saw me hop the fence, so they know I don't belong in the front
C. I had an I-pod

I was obviously not a true "marathoner."

Dave handed me my orange flavored goo (aka. my life saver) and I turned my I-pod on to my running playlist. First song was "Bleed It Out" by Linkin Park.

The First Question to pop in my head before the race was:

Why in the HECK am I doing this??

7:30 am

Bang. Just like that it began, my 13.1 mile race with no meaning. Why was I running this? This isn't fun? By the first 1/2 mile Dave left me alone with just my I-pod and a couple of thousand people surrounding me. This was my third time running the race, but the first time I was alone.

8:00 am

3 miles down. 10.1 to go...why am I doing this again?
As I run I start to people watch. People are all around me and I see some with shirts that say what cause they are running for, or what person they are running for. It seemed like everyone had a purpose, but me. I was only there because my stepdad asked me months ahead if I wanted to. Stupidly I said yes, thinking that I would train for it.

So here I was running at a pace that I knew I could probably survive. Maybe. And I still had no purpose. Reasons started running through my head, but in the end I decided to run it for myself. A little selfish...I know. BUT I decided that this race would be an end and a beginning. It would the end to all of my procrastination, and the beginning for being prepared. I need to start preparing for things. Like this race...I need to train my body to be ready for anything that comes its way. I need to prepare for tests so that I can get the best possible grades. I need to prepare myself for future disappointments, success, jobs, a future spouse, and family.

9:00 am

I can't feel anything. My hands have completely lost all feeling, and my legs too. All I wanted to do was quit...I had work in 4 hours, I knew that was going to suck. But I just made this goal...and I have to stick by it. Did I mention that this entire time I haven't stopped to walk? All of a sudden at the 10 mile marker I look to the left and some old lady in her mid 60's I would guess...just passed me. WHAT THE HECK??? I felt like crap at that moment. I wanted to cry..how was she doing that? Why do I suck? But then I remembered my goal of finishing and changed my attitude all together. I want to be this chick. One day when I am 65 years old I will train for the mini marathon and I will run it like a stallion...and run by poor little weakling college students and as I do I will say to them...GOOD JOB....you can do it! Because when that old lady said those words to me I was extremely motivated. If this old lady can do it. ... SO CAN I! So then I was off.

At about 2 hours and 20 min into the race I was only a couple hundred feet away from that finish line. My legs ached and my head was throbbing. So close. All of a sudden I hear my mother's voice. I look to the left...my wonderful family was there sitting on the side lines cheering on the runners. I love my mother =]

Then all of a sudden I crossed that line. And at that moment I remembered why I did all of this. The feeling of accomplishing something difficult and challenging is one of the most fulfilling/ wonderful feelings in the world.

Trust me hours later...my poor body is facing some serious pain because of my choices. For the next couple of day I will be regretting my decision, but I will definitely be happy with it for the rest of my life.



Mom, Me, Grandpa, Dave, and some chick. This was the only year we actually took pictures at the mini marathon. Maybe 2 years ago?